Cheap and Easy Gifts to Make: Bookplates

In the midst of my holiday crafting, I stumbled upon an oft-overlooked cheap and easy gift to make -- bookplates. Do you have lots of friends who like to read? (If not, maybe you need to get some new smarter friends, eh?)

Show their books some love with these expensive-looking, but simple to make bookplates. I did a search for free bookplate templates and found lots of options that suited my style (and those of my gift recipients).

Here's what you'll need:

• Some nice heavier paper (I used some gold-ish resume paper that I stole from my husband's desk, and some 32lb white resume paper that I had) - something with some color or texture could be cool, especially with the black and white designs
• A printer
• Paper cutting device -- a rotary trimmer is nice/faster, but I just used a razor and straight edge and it was fine (Double Bonus: cutting yourself during this project adds a marbled effect to the paper and improves curses!)
• Cutting board

TIP: I found it easier to save everything as images (rather than PDFs) and put them in a PowerPoint. I tiled the images, so each sheet had 6-9 bookplates. This made printing much easier and allowed me to control the size of each bookplate.

Here are some of my favorite solid-colored bookplates. These would look great on colorful paper or on plain paper with a bright ink:

• Three AWESOME bookplates (I LOVE THESE!)
• Adorable girl with a book and elves bookplate
• Cat reading a book bookplate
• Block text "Love" bookplate

(I actually just thought of that plain paper/bright ink thing while I was typing this up and am tempted to go make more just so I can use some fuchsia ink.)

Here are some of my favorite multicolored/patterned bookplates. These look best on neutral paper:

• Dog eating a book bookplate
• Four bookplates - owl, branch, colorful
• Bright patterned bookplates (Remind me a bit of Vera Bradley)
• Three bookplates from Martha Stewart (I cropped each of these way down and tiled them, because the way they are laid out on the page here is a major waste of paper! Tsk tsk!)
• Bright text bookplates (Yes, this is a link from the other section, but it goes in both.)
• Animal silhouettes for children and adult bookplates

Print them out, cut them apart and you are almost ready to gift! I had some envelopes that I lost/used the cards to, so I used the bookplates that I didn't cut quite as neatly to decorate those. I glued one bookplate on each envelope and wrote the recipient's name on the bookplate. (Adorbs!) I also wrote "Handmade Bookplates for Your Library" in a pretty script. I put an assortment of 10 bookplates in each envelope and left them unsealed.

I think these will be a hit among my friends with big libraries!

What do you think?

Camel Woman

So, husband and I were talking about how we should go on a diet. Good call. We are both a bit fatter than we one were. He also mentioned that we should probably start trying to drink more water. That led me to dig a little deeper into my sheer badassery to ask myself:

HOW MANY SHOTS OF WATER CAN I DRINK IN A ROW?

I have to say, I didn't know. I'm not a very good fluid consumer; I have a hard time taking a shot of liquor in one shot and am absolute shit at chugging it (whatever "it" is... usually beer, sometimes kool-aid).

I let him guess how many shots would be too many for me to drink. After consideration (and drinking a "test shot" himself), he declared that I wouldn't be able to drink more than 11 shots of water. I accepted the challenge.

Conditions of the Challenge:

1. The shot glass was one I picked-- non-regulation size at 2 fl. oz.
2. He would pour the water into the glass
3. The shots must be taken without a break; the only downtime/ breathingtime would occur during the filling of said glass
4. To win the challenge, I'd have to drink 12 total shots (24 fl. oz.)

After three solid minutes of CHUGGING IT, I was victorious. Bitch please... I blew it away. In truth, I drank a 13th shot just to show my badassery. Hells yes.

Right after I drank the last shot, I remembered that time that lady drank so much water that she died. Freak out time. Good thing husband is level-headed during times of panic.

DID YOU KNOW THAT EATING CHEX MIX SOAKS UP EXCESS WATER AND WILL KEEP ME FROM EXPLODING LIKE THAT RADIO LADY?

I don't know how I survived for so long without his wisdom. Freakin' love that guy.

Two random thoughts, let's go.

Domino's pizza sucks. I'm not a hold-out, but I sure wish I was.

Powerball is at $260 million. Thinking about winning it. I think a private jet is for me.

Okay, Tosh.0 time. But first, don't forget to thank a Veteran for their service. Thanks to all of our service men and women for all you do to make this a better place to live.

Cheers,
jess

Show Review: tosh.0

Do you enjoy seeing a bunch of viral videos and silly shit in a row? Are you interested in less plot and more crass humor in your shows? Do videos of people falling down and getting hurt make you giggle? If so, tosh.0 is your ultimate jam. Segments include:

• Prank of the Week
• Web Redemption
• Viewer Video of the Week
• I'm Better Than You, Nana-Nana Boo-Boo, Stick Your Head in Doo-Doo
• Behind the Screen Name
• Web Rematch
  

Click here to check out clips, and watch Comedy Central for new episodes.

Numero Uno

Whoa. First post on my first blog. I have to admit, I'm a little nervous. I want to entertain, to make you, my reader, smile. I hope my posts will add a little joy to your life.

I feel its fair to start out by letting you know what to expect. I'll be posting irregularly about things that I love, and that make me happy. Here's a partial list of things you might see here:

• Drawings of dinosaurs, flowers, etc.
• Stories I've made up
• Photos of things that are adorable or disgusting
• Recipes and pics of things that I've cooked
• Craft projects
• Random thoughts and quotes
• Gratuitous cursing and use of "dude"
  
• Tirades about Things I'm Against
• Mentions of my wonderful husband
• ...and MUCH, MUCH MORE!!

Since this first post just-so-happens to be on Mother's Day, I'd like to shout-out to my slightly-nutty, but always-well-meaning Mom! Thanks for not killing me for... well, you know.

That's all for this post, y'all.

-Jess the Mess